Love is Concrete
by coffeeaddictx3
Summary: Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete... A glimpse at GSR through the seasons. WIP
1. Chapter 1

Name: Love is Concrete

Summary: Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete…. A glimpse at GSR through the seasons.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: You all know that I don't own CSI or anything having to do with it. The only reason that I'm writing this is so I don't get sued.

**Chapter One**- Default Chapter

_Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward." Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies. _

_Love creates righteousness, or justice, here on earth. To make love is to make justice. As advocates and activists for justice know, loving involves struggle, resistance, risk. People working today on behalf of women, blacks, lesbians and gay men, the aging, the poor in this country and elsewhere know that making justice is not a warm, fuzzy experience. I think also that sexual lovers and good friends know that the most compelling relationships demand hard work, patience, and a willingness to endure tensions and anxiety in creating mutually empowering bonds._

_For this reason loving involves commitment. We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called "love." Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity -- a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh. – Carter Hayward_

I don't know when and where I fell in love with Gil Grissom, but I do know that I fell before I had time to rationalize how I felt. As scary as it was for me, I'll never regret it. Even through all of the years, it was worth all of the pain and suffering, because for once in my life, I feel complete.

I first met Grissom at a seminar, way back when I was a student at Harvard. He was there to teach us about, what else, bugs. I can remember not being all that excited about going to a seminar on that day. I wasn't really in the mood to go anywhere, as much as I loved school and all of the learning that came with it. It was just one of those days where I felt like just sitting at home, lying around and doing absolutely nothing for a day. I was exhausted from studying for finals and just wanted a break. But somehow, I managed to convince myself that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, even though it was just a boring seminar, and I could go to one any day.

I'll never forget how he first reacted to me. It was during the middle of the seminar. He was telling us about his line of work and how bugs helped him determine how long a person has been dead when our eyes had met. He had frozen for a couple of seconds and was just staring right into my eyes. That's when I had felt my face getting hot and red, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

We had talked for a while after the seminar, outside of the small auditorium. I had wanted to know more about his line of work and what he had to say. In the strangest way, he completely fascinated me. We sat outside on that small park bench for at least three hours before he had to leave. That's when he gave me his E-mail address and his phone number and said he would like to keep in touch. And so we did.

I don't believe in love at first sight, and I don't think that it was love at first sight with Grissom. Then again, I didn't believe in love itself for a very long time; so maybe love at first sight exists in this world too. I think with every word he said to me, every time he touched me, and every time he was just around me, the more I fell for him and the deeper I got into the thought of us together.

True love is not something easily forgettable. It can't just be erased. It is a complete war. Within the last year or so I've found out that true love can be a beautiful thing, but it can only exist if you are willing to fight for it. Some people are willing to go on, and fight the battles in this so called 'war' while others are not. Some people don't want to endure any of the pain that comes along with love, so they never are willing to fight for it. But, if you are one of the ones willing to fight, the rewards are worth every one of the risks you can take. Maybe that's why I decided to fight for us. Because I knew that eventually all of the pain would be forgotten and I'd be the happiest person on the face of this Earth.

And that's why I fought for us for six straight years. Six, long, and extremely painful years.

I always knew there was hope for Grissom and me. As much as he liked to deny it, there was real chemistry between the two of us. The sparks that we could create just between the two of us is insane. We could simply just be in the same room and there was already tension between the two of us.

Although getting Grissom took me quite a long time, it was worth the wait, because every night (or day considering we both work at night) I can come home to him and know that he still loves me.

And that is something that I know will never change.

* * *

A/N: Like? Don't like? Let me know, this is a WIP so there will be more! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, although I wish I did.

By the way, the first chapter is in Sara's point of view, but the other chapters will not be.

**Chapter Two**- Cool Change

Sara came home and collapsed on her couch. She had just pulled a triple and wanted nothing more than to sleep, however sleep was almost impossible for Sara Sidle. Instead, she went to her computer and checked her E-mail, hoping that she had finally gotten a reply from Grissom. It had been two months since she had received anything from him and was getting tired of waiting, but, to her surprise, when she looked through her messages, there was one from Grissom.

_Sara-_

"_The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."- William Shakespeare. _

_I'm sorry I haven't written to you in quite a while. I hope you can forgive me. _

_There isn't much knew here in Vegas. Nick and Warrick (you do remember me telling you about them right?) are both trying to get the promotion of CSI 3. It's been very interesting to watch them go head to head. Both of them are making bets and they've got the whole graveyard shift betting for who's going to win too (and before you ask, no, I didn't bet on either of them). _

_How's life in San Francisco? I was there a month or two ago and dropped by to see you only to find out that you had moved. When did this happen?_

_Well, anyway, I'm sorry I didn't write sooner. I just had to say that again. Write back soon!_

_Grissom_

Sara laughed. In the couple of months that she hadn't heard from him at all, he hadn't changed a bit. She decided to write back to him.

_Griss-_

"_Absence makes the heart grow fonder"- Thomas Haynes Bayly_

_It's good to finally hear from you! I was beginning to think that you had just disappeared off of the face of this Earth. Seriously though, it's okay that you didn't write for a while. I understand if you were busy. I have the same job as you, you know. _

_By the way, I told you that I had moved several months ago (remember now?). I didn't ever give you the address though, so sorry about that. _

_I would have thought you would have placed a bet on Warrick. After all, from what you've told me, he is your favorite CSI. Am I not correct?_

_Things have been pretty quiet here as usual, but the case that I've just finished was pretty rough. A kid was murdered, and that should be enough to call a rough case, but wait, it gets worse. The killer, as it turns out, was his step-father. Sad, right? And he said he did it because 'the little brat hated him and deserved what he got'. Some people in this world are so sick. I will never fully understand the human mind or nature…_

_It was good to hear from you. Write back soon!_

_Yours,_

_Sara_

Sara quickly erased that and just wrote:

_Sara_

Sara thought for awhile and before she pressed send, she wrote:

_(P.S: Why do we always write quotes at the beginning of all of our messages? I'm starting to wonder how that all got started.)_

Sara pressed the send button, and then quickly logged off of her computer. She was beginning to feel more and more drowsy, so she lied down on her couch. Within just minutes, she was in a deep sleep.

Sara woke up four hours later, feeling very refreshed. Many people thought it was strange how she could wake up after just a few hours of sleep and go another three days without sleep, but it was just something she had always done, even as a child. She sat up on the couch and turned her TV on, even though she barely ever watched it. It still was comforting to her to have some noise in her house for once.

For some reason, she logged back on her computer to check for a message from Grissom, even though she didn't expect there to be one. But as soon as she signed on, there was already a new message from him.

_Sara-_

"_The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing"- Socrates_

_I'm not to sure why we write quotes at the beginning of all of our messages to each other. I think it got started one day when I just randomly wrote a quote in my message to you, and you sent a quote back to me. I guess we just do it now for the sake of not wanting to break the tradition, as boring as that sounds._

_By the way, Warrick isn't my favorite CSI. I don't have favorites. I like them all equally._

_I'm sorry to hear about your rough case. Just last week, I worked a case where a six year old was murdered by her older brother. I never really found out why, but I always wonder what motive you could possibly have for stabbing your little sister. I, much like you, will also wonder how it's possible to take a child's life away from them, but, then again, it is a very sick world out there._

_Write back soon,_

_Grissom_

_(PS: The reason for me not writing you back isn't because I was too busy.)_

Sara read the last line about five times before saying out loud, "What the hell is that supposed to mean." She pressed the reply button, and wrote:

_Griss-_

_What the hell is 'the reason for me not writing you back isn't because I was too busy' supposed to mean._

_Sara_

_Oh and here's your quote:_

"_Four things to learn in life: To think clearly without hurry or confusion, to love everybody sincerely, to act in everything with the highest motives, and to trust God unhesitatingly."- Helen Keller_

Sara pressed the send button for the second time that day, an unusual occurrence for her. Then she shut down her computer and headed off to work.

* * *

For two more weeks, Grissom and Sara were emailing each other twice a day. Every time Grissom wrote to her, however, he never did answer her question about what exactly he had meant. In each letter, he had simply not paid any attention to the fact that she kept asking what he had meant by one simple question. Sara, getting tired of writing down the same question in every message she sent, just stopped asking knowing that she'd never get a response. 

Sara was catching one of her few hours of sleep that she needed everyday when her phone began to ring. She slowly picked up her phone and mumbled groggily into it, "Sidle."

"Sara?" asked the voice on the phone. Sara immediately sat up in bed, smiling. She knew exactly who it was.

"Grissom," she said, her grin getting wider.

"Yes," he replied. "How are you?" he asked, uncertain of how to start off there conversation.

"Oh, I'm just fine. How about you?" Sara said, thrilled, and yet very confused as to why he was calling.

"I'm okay," he replied casually.

"So, Grissom, what's the real reason that you're calling me?" Sara said, wondering what the catch to this phone call was. In all the years that she had known him, he had never called once.

"What ever are you talking about, Miss Sidle?" he asked in an almost flirtatious tone.

"Well, Grissom, you've never called me before so I'm just wondering what the catch is this time," said Sara.

"Who said there's any catch to me calling you?"

"What do you want," Sara said, getting right down to business.

"Fine, I'll tell you," Grissom said, defeated.

"I knew I was right," Sara said, laughing.

"I want you to come to Vegas," he said straight out.

"What…what did you say?" Sara asked, her heart pounding harder at what she thought he had just said.

"I said I want you to come to Vegas," he repeated to her.

"Wait, why do you want me to come there?" she asked, not really clear of what exactly he wanted from her.

"Well," he began, "Yesterday, one of my new CSIs got shot on the job."

"You mean Holly Gribbs" Sara asked, remembering her name come up in yesterday's message.

"Yeah, and they don't think she's going to make it."

Oh, that's terrible."

"I was told I needed someone outside of the lab to investigate the CSI that was supposed to be with her."

"And who was that?" Sara asked, wanting to know what he wanted her to do.

"Warrick Brown," he replied predicting what she was going to say next.

"Oh, your favorite CSI?" Sara replied.

"I knew you were about to say that," Grissom mumbled.

"Why are you asking me?"

"I'm asking you because I trust you," Grissom replied. Sara felt her heart skip a beat. He actually _trusted_ her. "Sara? What do you think; will you come?"

"I don't know Grissom," Sara said cautiously. "I'd have to talk to my supervisor."

"I could do that for you," Grissom offered.

"You really want me to come, don't you?" Sara said to him, pleasantly surprised.

"Yes," he said sheepishly, making Sara blush.

"I really don't know, Grissom," Sara said taking the thought of moving to Las Vegas into full consideration.

"Please."

Sara sighed. "I'll come and investigate Warrick for you, but I'm not sure if I'm going to stay."

"That's all I needed to hear," Grissom said, obviously satisfied that he had convinced her to come.

"I didn't say I was going to stay!"

"I know what you said, Sara. Goodbye," Grissom said, hanging up.

"Bye," Sara said. She sighed. What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

The next day, Sara was already driving down to a crime scene in Las Vegas that Grissom had told her to come to when she arrived. She looked out of her car window, taking in all of the sights of the city. I can only imagine what this place is going to be like at night, she thought as she drove along. The city didn't seem like a place she'd ever consider living; she preferred San Francisco much more. However, she decided that she would at least give the city a chance. 

Sara parked her car near the crime scene and stood among the crowd of people, watching as three dummies were being tossed off of the hotel's roof. The crowd cheered as all of the dummies began to hit the ground one by one.

"Yes, yes," Gil Grissom said, as the crowd continued to cheer. "Norman pushed; Norman jumped; Norman fell," he said, taking pictures off all three dummies.

"Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs. Roper?" Sara said, smiling at Grissom, whose back was still turned to her.

"I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle." He smiled at her as he turned around to see her staring right at him from inside of the tape.

"It's me," she said, giving him her famous gapped-tooth grin. "Still tossing simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know?"

"How? Computer simulation? No thank you. I'm a scientist; I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple; I drop dummies," he replied.

"You're old school."

"Exactly, and this guy was pushed."

"How's the girl?" Sara asked after a moment of awkward silence.

"She's still in surgery. She's not doing very well."

"That's too bad…" Sara whispered.

"God, Sara, I have so many unanswered 'whys'," he said to her.

"There's only one 'why' that matters now; why did Warrick Brown leave that scene?"

* * *

"Sara?" Grissom asked quietly. Holly Gribbs' killer had just been arrested, and no one else saw the point of sticking around anymore. It was just the two of them now.

"Hmm…" Sara said, obviously in a daze. Grissom put his hand on the small of her back, causing her to flinch.

"Come on, let's take a walk," he said, guiding her down the path. Although she was reluctant about taking a walk, she followed him.

"Where are we going?" she asked him after walking for a while.

"You'll see," he replied, grinning at her. Sara hoped that he didn't notice that her face was turning red.

"Please, just tell me," she argued with him.

"No, Sara. Have some patience, will you? It's a surprise."

"But I don't like surprises," she pouted. Grissom sighed in frustration, causing Sara to laugh. "Okay, okay, I'll stop bothering you, Griss."

"Too late for that," he said, "We're already here." Sara looked around. She laughed at where Grissom had taken her.

"A park," she said quietly, her smile growing by the second.

"Bring back any memories?" Grissom said, recalling the time that they had met.

"Just a few," Sara replied, still smiling at him as she remembered the long hours they had spent together after they had met at the seminar. "I know you didn't just bring me here for laughs, so just cut to the chase."

"Why do you think everything I do for you has to involve me asking a favor," he asked her innocently.

"Because I know you better than you think I do." Grissom's smile vanished instantly and he froze up. Sara burst out laughing. "Hey, that's not that bad of a thing, Griss. Okay, now tell me what you want."

"I want you to stay in Vegas," he said, shocking Sara.

"Why are you so persistent? There are lots of other CSIs out there. Why are you so set on me staying here? I like it is San Francisco."

"Sara," Grissom said, moving her face so that she could look him straight in the eyes. She shuttered when he touched her cheek, and she hoped that he didn't notice. "I trust you with the job. I know that you're brilliant and reliable, and I need another hard worker in the lab. We're the number two lab in the country, and so we need someone like you to work here. Please stay."

How could she argue with that?

"Promise me that I won't regret staying here if I do decide to stay," Sara said.

"I swear to you that you'll never regret it."

"Then I'll stay."


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I was on vacation; it was the first and last one of my boring excuse for a summer.

Thank you if you reviewed! A major thank you to those of you still reading this.

**Chapter Three**- Sex, Lies, and Larvae

"Sara?" Grissom asked as he entered his office. He was surprised to see that the tall brunette hadn't gone home, but instead had come to his office and fallen asleep on a chair that was sitting in front of his desk. Seeing that she wasn't waking up at the sound of his voice, he went over to the chair and kneeled down beside where she was sleeping, but instead of waking her up immediately, he took a minute to watch her in her sleep. She looked like an entirely different Sara when she slept. Instead of seeing the reckless, self-destructive, stubborn Sara he knew, he saw a Sara that looked peaceful, yet vulnerable at the same time

"Sara," Grissom repeated, but more gently this time. Sara's eyelids began to flutter open.

"Grissom, what the hell are you doing in my house?" she asked him, still half asleep.

"Sara, you're not at home. You're in my office asleep on one of my chairs." Sara immediately shot up, embarrassed at the fact that she had fallen asleep waiting for him.

"Oh my god, Griss, I am so sorry. I was waiting for you to come in and…"

"Wait, wait. Sara, slow down!" Grissom said as she continued to ramble on.

Sara sighed as she began her explanation of her presence in his office again, but slower. "I came in here to tell you something. I figured you be in you're office soon enough, so I just decided to wait until you came in. I must have fallen asleep waiting for you…"

"It's okay, you know. I don't care," Grissom said to her, hoping to reassure her. "What did you come in here for again?" he asked as he sat on another chair, directly across from her.

"Oh, well first of all I wanted to know how things with Warrick went."

"I haven't spoken to him yet."

"Oh, alright," Sara said, slightly embarrassed about how nosy she was being.

"Sara?"

"What?" Sara asked as she snapped out of the daze she was in.

"Do you think that maybe Warrick wasn't there to gamble?" Sara smirked at the thought of it.

"Grissom," she said to him, "Think about this logically for a minute or two. Warrick, at a casino, for a reason other than gambling. Now, tell me, does that even make the least bit of sense?"

"But it's possible," he argued.

"Yes, of course it's possible. But it's also possible that a meteorite will crash into Earth and knock us out of orbit, killing us all."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm, Miss Sidle," Grissom said, frowning at Sara. She pretended to pout at the sight of his disapproval.

"Griss, you have to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. Don't get me wrong, I like Warrick too; he's a great guy, but he's addicted to gambling. He has a problem and he needs to know that gambling on CSI's time is wrong. You think he would have learned a lesson from what happened to Holly…"

"Maybe we should wait until I talk to Warrick until we argue over this," said Grissom, not wanting to debate the situation any more, especially since Grissom new that Sara would be perfectly happy to debate the subject all day.

"Okay," Sara said, giving up on the issue, "Well, anyway, the reason I came in here in the first place was to thank you for pushing forward with the case."

"I was just doing my job, Sara."

"Yeah, but it still meant a lot to me. Most supervisors would have just told me to give up trying to find evidence against the husband and move on to another case, but you didn't. Why?"

"Because I know better," Grissom replied smugly. Sara rolled her eyes.

"Hey, do you want to go out for breakfast?" she asked him, standing up from the chair.

"Aren't you tired?"

"Yeah, but I'm more hungry than tired. Now are you coming or not?" Sara asked impatiently.

"I would go, but I have to stay here in the lab for a while."

"And why is that?"

"Paperwork…" Grissom replied sighing at the thought of sitting in his office doing what he dreaded the most.

"Oh, well good luck with that!"

"I'll take a rain check though." Grissom said hopefully.

"I bet you will," Sara said teasingly. "I'll see you later." And with that, Sara left Grissom in his office to do paperwork by himself.

* * *

_Kaye Sheldon was screaming as her husband came toward her with a gun. He had threatened her with his fists before, but never with a gun. "No," she said to him as he approached her slowly. "I'm leaving you this time, Scott. I can't take it anymore." _

"_You little bitch!" he yelled, backing her into a corner. "I've given you everything and you think you can just leave me."_

"_The only thing you've managed to give me was six wasted years of my life and bruises. I'm tired of this, Scott, and I'm leaving this time."_

_Scott pushed Kaye up against the hallway wall and put the gun to her head. "I'll kill you before you leave me."_

"_Go ahead. Shoot me if you want. I'd rather be dead than spend another day with you," Kaye said, realizing that it was true. Scott became furious with her._

"_You little slut! I've given you everything. How could you even say something like that? Fine if that's what you want, then let it be." The last thing that Kaye Sheldon heard was the sound of a gunshot before everything went black._

* * *

Sara woke up from her sleep just as she had told Grissom she would; in a cold sweat under the blankets. She sat up slowly, still a little stunned by the nightmare that she had just had, and got out of her bed.

The nightmare was supposed to go away, just like all of the others. Now that she had solved the crime, it was supposed to be over with. For some unknown reason, this nightmare was different then the others. It still haunted her.

Sara sat on her couch and flipped on the television. She flipped through random channels, not really paying much attention to the TV at all, but instead thinking of all the rational reasons why she was still having the nightmares about Kaye.

Maybe it was because she could imagine the way Kaye Sheldon had felt being trapped in a marriage to an abusive husband. After all, Sara did grow up around an abusive father. She had seen what her mother had been through and look where she ended up; in jail and in a mental institution.

Or maybe it was the fact that Scott Sheldon had reminded her of her childhood and growing up with a father like that. After all, Scott had acted just as her father had done when they went to the hospital, and by that she meant always making up an excuse for the bruises on her mother and very rarely her and her brother. It was always something really simple, such as 'Oh, she fell down the stairs. She can be quiet clumsy at times, but I still love her.' Sara sighed. _If you ask me_, she thought with disgust, _love is over rated._

Whatever the reason may have been, it kept Sara awake for most of the day, afraid to fall asleep because of the dream. Eventually, though, she grew tired and decided to go to sleep despite the dream.

Sara rested her head on one of the pillows in her bed for sleep to come to her. She slowly drifted off to sleep, silently wishing that Grissom would 'sleep with' her. Then maybe the nightmares would go away.

* * *

Once again, I'm **so** sorry that this took forever to update. Please review and let me know what you liked and what I can improve on! 


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